Today's Scripture:

John 13:21-23 After saying these things, Jesus was troubled in his spirit, and testified, “Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he spoke. One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was reclining at table at Jesus' side,

Read: Reflect on a story in your life that pertains to this scripture.
As Jesus gets closer to the cross, He sees the truth that absolute heartbreak is coming as one of his chosen 12 disciples will betray Him. In return, the twelve, in a mode of self-preservation and selfishness, are more concerned with who the betrayer is rather than telling Jesus that He will be betrayed.

Reflect: What is this scripture telling you during this season?
The first thing I saw was Jesus' hurt. He isn't ticked. He isn't frustrated. He isn't even angry. He is in extreme grief—sorrow like no other. I am not entirely sure when I was betrayed for the first time, but I have a string of my most trusted people turning on me in a very short period of time. It was devastating to go from someone being there for me to giving allegiance to another without concern for the actual cost, not to mention the cost to me. There is pain in life, but that kind of pain hurts on so many levels and so deep. In a few seasons of life, the betrayal has been so bad I allowed the pain to define me and provide me direction. I gave the grief power that would have me behave in ways I knew were wrong, and I showed an Aaron I didn't want to be. Most importantly, I acted like the Aaron I wasn't designed to be. I thought it gave me the permission (or right) to be selfish. To hurt people in return and to hurt people so I would not experience the same hurt from them. But Jesus didn't act that way. He is the Son, God incarnate, but still fully human, so how did he pull it off? It was because "one of his disciples, the one Jesus loved..." (vs.23, ESV) was sitting right there. Jesus, in his humanity, was not alone. That didn't get rid of the grief, but it was important. In this season of self-reflection, surrendering, and focusing on what Jesus did and why, I have to look not only at me but also at the world surrounding me. I am not alone. I do not have to fear someone close to betraying me, as I know it will happen. That verse doesn't say the one that loved him. It says it is the one he loved (agape)...Am I loving those in my inner circle the way Jesus did? Am I too harsh to those who have to do something I don't want or totally disagree with? Will I love them, even in my grief?

Respond: How is this scripture calling you to respond?
I am to give my entire life to God, all of my wants, desires, dreams, expectations and relationships. I am to accept that others will do what they do. I am to live the emotions life gives me. Feeling brokenhearted and grief in my soul is ok. But I (we) are NOT alone. I am to live differently. In full disclosure, I am writing this with a troubled heart. I have been lied to, cheated, and hurt. I know tomorrow will bring change but it is not change I want. (Sidenote: I'll bet all I have that it will be one of the best things that has happened to me yet) Not all, but a lot of my heart hurts...but I am sitting here with the Holy Spirit next to me. I can call on Jesus anytime I want and He will listen to my pain and confusion. He will even let me whine for a bit. Then, He will hold me, and in absolute love, He will call me out (I can't wait for that :-). And if that's not enough, I am headed home to my best friend and wife Stephanie, who, for some reason unknown to me, will hug me and walk with me as I look at all this. Tomorrow, I have some time with another one of my 12, and I will be provided wisdom and see love and am pretty sure I will see an example of Jesus. And then I will be restored and I will be asked to do the same...and I will give back to Him without reservation. God is good. Life hurts. Jesus saved us from the hurt and brings us to the Father. So, in the end, just as the cross, life is incredible. In the scripture, the rest of this night that John tells us about happens because Jesus knew that no matter what He wanted or thought, his pain would be used for the incredible. Blessings to you during this Lenten season, and may God give us all the courage and boldness to reflect on ourselves and the life of Jesus so we can give Him all of us.

About Aaron Hansz:
I am a pastor at Grace, husband to Stephanie, father of 5 (Audrey, Kyle, Gretchen, Benjamin and Elizabeth), new grandfather of one (Archer), coach, and financial planner.
I have been at Grace since October 2022 and it is my absolute honor to serve as an Assistant Pastor of Discipleship Formation/Recovery/Outreach.